IT IS TIME TO PUT AWAY OUR BIAS
( Ben D.Anderson's thoughts about when he was 12 years old leaving the Crippled Children's School in Jamestown, ND to go back to his parent's home and attend public school in a special education class)
"It is very interesting to go along with life thinking you will be in that same place all the time. It has been 8 years and I have no place to go. I have my friends and I only see my parents once in awhile. It seems it is not long enough but there has got to be a reason why. It is not that I don't like this place but I would like to experience being home and going to school. But I don't see any way that I can do this; I am just a boy; I can't make decisions. Other people make them and they are the right decisions but sometimes I wonder why can't my parents be here all the time and we play together and eat together and most of all, they can kiss me goodnight and say my prayers with me. I do miss that.
This is a safe place. I am being taken care of very well. I enjoy my friends and my teachers are okay too. Oh yeah, I have my John Deere tractor that my grandfather bought me when I learned to walk. I think I was about 4 years old when that happened. The farm is a very important place for me but I find myself in this city without the wild grasses I loved to walk through when I am home in the country and the machinery I am so in love with. I miss that. One of my "peace of mind" is the John Deere tractor that I ride up and down the hallways. I don't know words like discrimination.
I don't know words about what discrimination is. You are different so we don't like you. What does that mean? What is that all about? I have never experienced that as this is a "safe place" to be. I remember thinking that I read something on the board with all these names. It happened. In the springtime I am always looking for my name because I realize they don't come back in the fall. I miss them. They are my friends. Why them and not me? Why do they have a chance to be with their family and friends and I always need to come back on Labor Day Weekend? I don't understand. They must have been better than I am to be on that list. Wait! I see my name on that list. Yes, it was!
It was fifty years ago this summer that I saw my name on that list. I get to go home and I get to sleep in my own bed. I get to go to school in that place that I call home. Yes, now I have a chance to be with my parents and eat at the same table and they get to tuck me in and say my prayers with me. It is a different day. Labor Day come and goes and I don't need to travel and most of all I don't need to say goodbye to my parents. I am home at last with my friends and family.
My first day of school was in September of 1965. Everything is well. I feel good. I am home and it is good to see my family and friends all the time. I do miss that school but I do understand this is my place and I will be here for the rest of my life. I don't understand that I am beginning to be laughed at. What is that about? I have never experienced that before. No body thinks that I am able to play baseball or tag. Why am I feeling that I am different than these other kids are? This is a new phenomenom. I have never experienced that feeling. Why doesn't anybody stick up for me? I thought when I came home I would be protected by my friends and my parents. But things are so much different. I have dreams to become a person to go on; to go to college; to be somebody important but I feel trapped. I have this tape playing in my head that when I was child I was told I had a low IQ. Is that possible? How can I get out of this trap? I am traveling a 100 miles to school from home as it seems my own community doesn's want me. I know that I have cerebral palsy but is that a big deal? It wasn't at the other school as we all had disabilities. Some of them could not even walk or could not even speak but that was okay. We all got along but this is somewhat different. It seems to me that I am always the last one picked on the playground. What is this about going to school in a different town. Oh yes, I can be home at night but I am gone all day to this big school in this big city. I was in a special class. I understand that for me to leave the crippled children's school was one of the recommendations was to put me into a special education in my hometown but now I am in a different city. I don't know why. Discrimination comes in different shapes and forms. It is not always done by young kids but it can be done by grown ups that don't understand that people are different. I understand that I am different but I don't understand why it is a big deal to other people.
It is time for us to put away our bias and begin to get along with each other."
